its over?

halo ppl religiously waiting for me to blog.. its me after 1 month plus.. i have so many things to write.. but im so lazy.. many things happened in this month of absence.. most notably is my close relative passed away.. my 21st birthday! and little things like V200 course held in my camp etc etc..

my relative.. who i call cim poh.. she is my maternal grandfather's bro's wife.. she passed away peacefully on 5th march.. on a saturday.. received the news 1st from my mum.. was crying over the phone and i tot something happened to her.. den she told me 'cim poh mei you le..' my heart sank.. she looked fine during cny.. played blackjack and was her usual jovial self.. how can someone just go like dat..? but 1 thing very peculiar.. she gave me an extra hongbao during cny.. she said its for my birthday... i did not wanna accept it at 1st but she kept pushing.. and i finally took it.. did she noe dat she wasn't gonna make it for my bday..? i wonder... i dunno.. im sad dat she pass away.. at the same time scared.. dat my relatives will one by one just go off.. dunno why.. but though my grandfather passed away 8 years already.. i still tear when i go to the temple and see his photo on the altar.. it just seem like yesterday he was knocking on my house door.. watching me play computer games.. i learnt to treat old folks nicer.. especially my grandma.. though shes naggy.. i sat at the dining table and listened to her tok abt her younger days after lunch. life is precious.. live life to the max..

26th march was my birthday! i celebrated it on the 25th coz i had to do duty on the 27th.. i must say i had the most wondrful time.. though i din get a chalet my downstairs was a good enuff place.. my mum cooked a feast.. which many ppl praised for the good food.. i gotta thank all the ppl who came.. and bought me those wonderful presents.. really love every single one of them! gotta thank my dad.. who was working all the way.. be it clearing rubbish.. topping up drinks.. etc etc.. my 3rd aunt's husband.. who brought all the tables.. and chairs.. my close frens who became advanced parties.. helping me decorate the place.. etc.. and lastly.. i wanna thank my MOTHER. she is the greatest.. baked a 3 tier cake for me.. cook so much food dat could beat any caterer FLAT. she is the person i love and respect the most. thank you mummy. got quite a lot of money.. actually wanted to get the tag huer.. coz my parents said they will top up the rest of money needed.. the Tag Huer is the watch i wanted for my 21st bday since i was young.. but since my tk band gang gave me a watch. i dun see a need to bother my parents anymore for money.. yep.. really enjoyed myself.. though i needed to bathe 3 times.. after being saboed everytime i bathe. thank you guys for making it..

27th march..duty personnel at chong pang camp.. my BOS was a devote buddist. me being a buddhist.. was interested to know more.. taught me many things.. like karma.. etc.. kinda enlightened me.. i considered attending buddhist classes after his talk.. death would be very scary.. seriously.. if i did many bad things.. my debtors would come to me and wan me to pay wad i owed.. and most scary is dat im alone.. slept like a pig after dat.

28th march.. my V200 course ended.. 3 weeks of being wif old frens from OETI..and making new frens as well.. end of course marks the start of hell.. as im now a trained personnel in V200.. and im required to take out the bloody engine.. haha well.. no choice.. who ask me suay in dis vocation..

hmmm.. like li sheng jie's chi xin jue dui.. sorta describe the feeling im feeling.. but i guess im not dat chi xin ba... shi gai fang shou de shi hou... jiu de fang shou.. yep.. im needa move on.. yes im lonely at dis point of time.. but all dis is my own doing.. i dun wanna risk losing a frenship.. dats the tender line drawn between a platonic relatioship and a relationship based on love..

alright with dat i end my entry here.. so late already.. haven sleep.. had a jog just now( like rare).. down on stamina.. acting like a fat slab of lard.. i MUST change that. till den... ciaoZ~!